Inside the mind of McCain

It was the middle of the week, and news media the world over were gushing over Sen. Obama. A sullen Sen. McCain summoned his staff to discuss what must be done.

McCain: This is unsatisfactory. He is on TV acting like he understands foreign policy. This is MY issue. He is over there stealing MY issue. I am NOT happy. Obama was supposed to go with us, so we could have images of me tutoring the youngster. How did we lose control?! Now he's speaking in Berlin for God sakes. Berlin!!! I need my Berlin. Get me my Berlin!

Sycophant staff member: Senator, you know there is a Berlin in Ohio. If you recall from the primary election, they don't like his kind in Ohio. We could go there and be "with the people."

They all chuckled at their wit.

McCain: Great idea, my friend. Where will we go in Berlin?

Sycophant staff: A German restaurant of course. You get Berlin AND Germany And you look like you understand ordinary people. It's brilliant.

McCain: You might be on to something. Then we could go to Paris, Wisconsin. We could trail his European cities with their American counterparts. That'll show him. We'll belittle Obama for speaking to 200,000 people. After all, this isn't a popularity contest.

The staff shuffled nervously. After all, this was not good TV. But the boss was happy, so they all went along.

Sycophant staff: Great idea, senator. This will make a tremendous impact. Your best idea yet! High five!

Oops!