Top 10 reasons to reject McCain

With apologies to Dave Letterman and the Home Office, here are the People's Pundit's Top Ten Reasons to Reject Sen. John McCain:

No. 10 -- After creating signs, posters, commercials, and gazillions of specialty items proclaiming 'Country First,' McCain subjects us to endless recitations of his "I'm a war hero" story. Yeah, you got smacked around for five years. Get some counseling. Enough already.

No. 9 -- Speaking of counseling, after selectively dribbling out parts of his medical records, we learned he hasn't released ANY mental health records. Ok tough guy. You just reminded us that you were tortured for five years and subjected to inhuman cruelties. Shouldn't we get some assurances that you won't literally go cuckoo for coco puffs?

No. 8 -- Cindy Lou? Ok, I'm not mad at you for this one. Crashed three Navy planes, Millions of dollars. Ex wife payoff fund, Millions of Dollars. Marrying a stupid-rich know-your-place Barbie and getting seven houses, 13 cars and your own plane while she stands behind you gazing adoringly? Priceless.

No. 7 -- Insanity: Employing the Hillary Clinton campaign strategy of highlighting your experience, denigrating Obama's positivity, and randomly smearing your opponent yet expecting a different result. Helloooo! Get a clue. We already saw how this movie ends.

No. 6 -- Suspending his campaign to go campaign. In the worst of all stunts, McCain gambled his reputation to try and lead 535 people who had no inclination or reason to follow him and over whom he had no leverage. Stupid.

No. 5 -- No poker face -- Telegraphed to the entire world when he was angry, exasperated and disgusted in every debate. How are you going to conduct serious, hardnosed negotiations when everyone knows how to push your buttons?

No. 4 -- He dissed Dave. Really? You thought it would be a good idea to blow off Dave Letterman to go do an interview on the SAME NETWORK? Really?

No. 3 -- Joe the Plumber. After lifting up Joe the Plummer as the symbol of the poor would-be business owner who can't pay taxes on a quarter of a million dollars, we find out he's not a plumber, his first name isn't Joe, he had no plans to buy a business, he makes $40,000 a year, he didn't pay his taxes, and he's a Republican. Naturally, these revelations are evidence of an Obama smear.

No. 2 -- Remained unacceptably silent when attendees yelled "kill him" and "off with his head" about Obama, then whined that Rep. Lewis hurt his feelings. How do you sleep at night?!

And the No. 1 reason to reject McCain.... (drum roll please)

No. 1 -- We can't take four years of hearing him say "My Friends" without wanting to scream "Kill Him!" or "Off with his head!"