Obama, Dude, They’re just not that into you

If Obama were a close friend and Congress, a paramour, this would be a no brainer. Dude, you are chasing someone who is just not that into you.

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo gave us a near fool-proof “No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys” in their popular book by the same title. I think Pres. Obama would do well to consider a couple chapters as he begins his presidency.

During the campaign, Obama promised us a new Washington. He would break the gridlock, restore the peace, dispel partisanship, end global warming, and so on. I must admit I was taken. Smitten even. I shared his hopes that we could fashion a newer, more tolerant America. In our optimism, we overlooked what should have been an obvious factor: it takes two to tangle.

In Obama’s early efforts to pass a stimulus and during conversations about the new president’s priorities, it became obvious that Congress had no intention of appearing to follow in the popular president’s footsteps, no matter where they might lead. While the country might still approve of Obama and his new direction … While Obama might be able to claim a mandate with his overwhelming election victory … Republicans in Congress are just not that into him.

You don’t need to read the whole book, just look at the title of the first chapter, “He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out.” One of the first things Obama did when he got to Washington was start asking out Republicans. He attended a highly publicized dinner with conservative columnists George Will and company. He threw a special dinner for John McCain. He went to special closed-door meetings with the Republican delegations of both houses of Congress. He even invited John McCain to watch the Super Bowl at the White House, which McCain declined.

Then when Obama went looking for support, not one Republican in Congress could be found. They ate his food at night but wouldn’t be seen with him in the light of day.

Even the second chapter, “He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you” offers some clues. In each of the overtures, Obama was calling on the opposition. I can’t think of one instance where the reverse was true. To make matters worse, Republicans called everyone else except the president. They lined up for every camera they could find to denounce the president’s plans. They lectured him from the house and senate floors, they chided him from every Sunday morning show. They did everything but call the president directly.

At the end of the day, Obama had to go to the prom alone. The Republicans were unapologetic. They intended to spurn him, and they boasted in their triumph.

As Obama goes forward, he will have to decide how much to keep chasing a disinterested lover. It’s admirable to keep pushing for consensus, but sometimes you have to know when to say when. Sometimes you have to recognize: Dude, they’re just not that into you.